Published in The Opening·Sep 30, 2021Member-onlyWhen Birthdays Feel Awkward4 steps to take care of yourself — Birthdays are hard for me. They feel so awkward. A moment marked for me, for nothing more than being born. Being me. My insides start crawling to the edges of my being. For most of my growing up, my birthday was just us. My family. Never a party. Nothing big…Birthday4 min readBirthday4 min read
Published in The Opening·May 23, 2021Member-onlyTracing the Pain Points of TraumaThe remedy to healing — When you can’t really remember the origin of trauma because it’s been endured for so long? Trace its path. It seems as though as I’ve been tracing so many pain points in my life. The year I turned 8 was one of the most challenging rites of passage in my life. We moved from Maryland to Texas. It was also my 8th move. …Healing5 min readHealing5 min read
Published in The Opening·Mar 19, 2021Member-onlyHate Crimes Against AsiansIt’s not new and it’s not like you didn’t know — It’s not like this JUST happened. Let’s not pretend hate crimes and murder against Asians never existed before ATL. 1600's It’s been happening in this country since its inception (The 1619 Project), TO EVERYONE AND WITH EVERYONE. It’s the game of the ego. The power puff game to feel better about…Hate4 min readHate4 min read
Published in The Opening·Mar 10, 2021Member-onlyHow to Take One for the TeamAnd Not Lose Your Mind — You know when your body and your mind are occupied, a deep knowing pops open from left field and you have that realization? I had one of those today. Take one for the team. I knew this phrase and was well trained by the time I was 5. It was…Self4 min readSelf4 min read
Published in The Opening·Feb 3, 2021Member-onlyThe Thing About Trauma Isn’t to Fix It.It’s to feel it. — There is this seed of trauma that I’ve been tracking for a while. I’m not sure exactly what moment was it but there are traces of it throughout my life. I can feel Her. She is Creation. I’ve been with Her in moments, in ways I can have Her be…Trauma5 min readTrauma5 min read
Published in The Opening·Jan 21, 2021Member-onlyThe Pimp and The WhoreIt’s Her and She lives in Me — I was a pimp before I knew about pussy. You all know that pimp energy. It doesn’t need a cock nor sex to feel it or use it. Ha, this church girl was like “Nah, I’m no pimp.” Feeling herself all innocent. You know that voice inside, that taskmaster inside…Self2 min readSelf2 min read
Published in The Opening·Jan 10, 2021Member-onlyCan I Love the Body I’m in?Can I let the love in? It feels like we met for the first time. Strangers navigating social norms, yet we’ve had a lot of intimacy. All the way home, we are strangers getting to know each other. His hands all over my body; touching, hugging me close. He loves…Body Image3 min readBody Image3 min read
Published in The Opening·Oct 7, 2020Member-onlyLessons from Mouse and RabbitFor a Dracarys hatchling with so much rage Something opened for me today. From birth to 18 months the stories that my parents would tell about me — I was opinionated, stubborn, focused, affectionate, and cheerful. …Siblings3 min readSiblings3 min read
Published in The Opening·Sep 26, 2020Member-only8 Seconds to Dying7 Days of Warring — Years ago I was plagued by these random attacks. SQUEEZING the life out of me, attacks. The excruciating squeeze grips the tops of my kidneys. 8 seconds Breathe I can make it for 8 seconds. Truly, those 8 seconds felt like riding a bull. Out of nowhere, a vice grip squeeze on the tops of my kidneys…Poetry4 min readPoetry4 min read
Published in The Opening·Sep 16, 2020Member-onlyI Was Put in a BoxA box to contain me. Why? I was too much to control. I was dangerous to myself and others. I was exhausting to manage. Sibling jealousy is a real thing. I was 2 years old. I learned about how to have my emotions, here in this box. I learned about myself and this feeling of separate, here in this box. …Life3 min readLife3 min read
